ORIGINAL HUMOR PAGES
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR HIGH-SCHOOL NON-COACH FACULTY - BY JOHN F. MORGAN
Hear, O teachers, the athletic department is one team.
1. Thou shalt have no other interests, allegiances or alliances before thy athletic department.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thy school any other graven mascot, or desecrate any image of thy coach.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of thy mascot in vain, nor shalt thou blaspheme the name of thy coach or athletic director. The school board will not hold thee guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
4. Remember game night, and keep it wholly.
5. Honor thy head coach and his staff that thy days may be long at this school upon the county which the school board and superintendent hath given thee.
6. Thou shalt not kill thy athletic director, though his salary be more than thine.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless thou art a really good coach.
8. Thou shalt not steal any player from any team with enticements of other extra-curricular activity.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy head coach, especially when the referee is listening, or thou mayest be thrown out of thy game without a refund.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighboring county's coach, nor his athletic department, nor his football stadium, nor his gymnasium, nor anything else that is thy neighboring county's, even when thou art losing. Thou shalt not covet thy football team's concession, gate or booster money.