If the devil were to write his beatitudes, they would probably go something like this:

Blessed are those who are too tired, too busy, too distracted to spend an hour once a week with their fellow Christians--for they are my best workers.

Blessed are the touchy. With a bit of luck, they may stop going to church.

Blessed are the troublemakers -- they shall be called my children.

Blessed are the complainers - I'm all ears to them.

Blessed are they who are bored with the minister's mannerisms and mistakes- for they get nothing out of his sermons.

Blessed is the church member who expects to be invited to his own church-- for he is a part of the problem instead of the solution.

Blessed are they who gossip -- for they shall cause strife and divisions that please me.

Blessed is he who professes to love God but hates his brother and sister-- for he shall be with me forever.