|
|
HUMOR PAGES
BROADWAY TERMS
ATTENTION MUSICIANS:
The following is a glossary of Cabaret / Broadway words and phrases that have been translated into standard musician language.
"5, 6, 7, 8" means "1, 2, 3, 4".
"Jazz 4" feeling means the bass walks in four but drums remain in two.
"Latin feel" means play a lot of percussion instruments with no groove.
"Undulating" means quarter note equals anything between 75 and 115.
"Give me something shimmering," means play the mark tree.
"Push it," means rush.
"Pull back," means drag.
"Fabulous" means the stuff sounds real good.
"Really hot" means the stuff is swinging.
"I need it bigger" means play it loud and with no taste.
"Backphrasing" means someone will be singing out of time.
"More European" means hire an accordion player.
"English Show" is a term used to identify an extremely pretentious Broadway Musical written by a very lucky British guy.
"Broadway Star"...High strung, self-involved, over-paid, minimal talent singer-dancer type who loves Judy Garland and Bob Fosse
"Stage Manager"...Uptight control freak who wears a Janet Jackson-type headset.
"House Manager" is an out of work actor or actress that tells the maintenance man when to turn on the air conditioner in the theater.
"Sound Designer" is a deaf Neanderthal who owns at least two microphones.
"Lighting Designer" is a blind Cro-Magnon who owns at least two light bulbs.
"Musical Contractor" is a man who owns a musical instrument and calls the show "his."
"Show Jacket" is a cheap, embarrassing outerwear garment identifying someone as a nincompoop that just loves the theater.
"Notes" are a listing of complaints given after a performance by a Broadway Star, Stage Manager, Dance Captain or anyone else who has no life outside of the theater.
SOME TERMS THAT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO USE IN THE THEATER:
Groove, swing, back-beat, improvise, follow the conductor, steady time, Sinatra-like, Basie ending, play in four or Afro-Cuban
