No moving parts, no batteries. No monthly payments and no fees
Inflation proof, non-taxable, In fact, it's quite relaxable.
It can't be stolen, wont' pollute, One size fits all, do not dilute.
It uses little energy, But yields results enormously.
Relieves your tension and your stress, Invigorate your happiness;
Combats depression, makes you beam, And raises your self esteem!
Your circulation it corrects; Without unpleasant side effects
It is, I think, the perfect drug: May I give to you
(and, of course, fully returnable)
-taken from the Jasper, AL. First UMC newsletter